Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A Little Off

I am a little off tonight. Maybe it is exhaustion. Maybe it is loneliness. I really can't put my finger on it, but I am definitely a little bit off.
The apartment is nice and I can honestly say that I only have a few boxes left to unpack. The boys have really adjusted well so far and I am very pleased. I'm taking steps this week to enroll them in all the activities that they were doing in Virginia, so they can start to make new friends. We are even going to the new member dinner at our new church later this week.
I remind myself daily that with them by my side, I am truly blessed. They are healthy kids. Each has his own personality and qualities that make them special.
So I ask you, why can't I shake this feeling. How long will it take to shake it. The feeling that something is missing. I have resolved myself to the understanding that my life will never be what it used to be. It will be different. Different is not a bad thing, it's just not the same.
I miss my friends. I miss the kid's friends. I miss my house and my yard. I miss the beautiful kitchen that I designed. I miss the color on the walls and the way I had my pictures hung in the hallway. None of it was perfect but it was mine. I know that those things are trivial in the grand scheme of life and that I have the 3 most important blessings with me, but still, I can't shake the feeling of being a little off.


  1. The "something missing" is now where you have room for growth my dear!

  2. Hang in there, this is a whole new chapter wth lots of wonderful things to come. We love you!